Being a parent is not an easy task. You bring life into the world and have to figure it out as you go along. Every step of the way you think to yourself how you can’t wait for the next step because it must be easier. Then you get to that step and realize, it’s not easier because it’s a new kind of difficult. For example, I couldn’t wait for my kids to be out of diapers only to find myself rushing to a bathroom, so they didn’t have an accident.
My girls are pretty independent, and I’m proud that I raised them in that way. As they get older, I find they are leaning on me more and more for relationship help. It’s difficult for me because I’m watching my girls experience new friends, crushes, “bullies”, and difficult people. I hear the struggles and the comments, yet the only thing I can do in return is give advice.
I always knew the teenage years would be the worst, but I never understood why until now. They are making core life experiences, and I’m a spectator watching it all happen. Some days I wish I could home-school them, so they don’t get their hearts broken. But for every bad experience and every good one, they are learning how to handle themselves. No amount of bubble wrap can keep them safe from other people of the world.
My advice is the best thing for them at this point in their lives. Learning how to cope with friendships is important because it will be the groundwork for future intimate relationships. Learning how to manage their school assignments is important because it will be invaluable when they need to manage projects in their first real jobs. Learning how to deal with difficult kids and teachers is important because as they grow, they will see they need to work with people they don’t particularly like.
However, they still have the power to make their own choices in life. I can give them advice until I am blue in the face, but until they see it for themselves, they don’t believe some of what I say. The more I can teach them at this age, and the more I can point out red flags, the better off they will be when they are my age. It’s such a difficult place to be in, knowing that you have no control over a situation involving someone you love more than life itself. Standing by helplessly and watching it all unfold breaks my heart sometimes. But who knows, maybe the next step will be better.
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